Tuesday, May 08, 2007


I ran into Xtina today, and as was bound to happen, we made fun of other people. This always happens, it's what we do. Not in a "we're totally evil bitches and we're going to hell because we say these things behind people's backs" kind of way, but in a "we're totally evil bitches because if they were present we would say these things to their faces" kind of way.

So I make fun of Xtina's lululemon pants, she makes fun of herself, segueing nicely into making fun of someone else, and while I'm laughing I hear her refer to someone as a "muffin-top." I had to stop her mid-sentence to repeat "muffin-top" for me. Of course she looks at me like I've lost it, muffin-top being choice vocabulary to describe a common affliction I need to comment on all the time.

Gold! It's the perfect description for a condition so rampant I've almost stopped complaining about it. I've replaced it with "why are you not wearing pants?" on my list of fashion faux pas to complain about if you were interested. Anyway, muffin-top! The condition where for reasons unbeknownst to other humans, girls insist on wearing pants 3 sizes too small. These girls typically aren't particularly large, but when forced into eeensy pants, their non-existent bums are forced up and over the waistband of their pants making them look totally ridiculous and much fatter than they actually are. The big mystery to the muffin-top is WHY do you want to make yourself look fatter? Buy pants that fit people! Do you have any idea what a pair of proper fitting pants can do for your bum?

While I would like to wage a war on the muffin-top, I'm sorta scared of strange girls. They could beat me up. So instead, I would just like for us all to bask in the glory that is the term muffin-top. It is up to all 10 of you who read this thing to spread the love and teach your friends. Hopefully, it will make it into the Webster's 2009 edition.


Anonymous said...

O.k. I'm seriously shocked you have never heard of this term b4 sis. I've been using good old muffin top for about a year now and trust me there are so many of them the term will surely not die out anytime soon.

Not So French Girl said...

I have been using this term forever ! Chelle ! For once you take one of MY words and I don't even get recognistion ! You just see if I mention you the next time I add 'tastic' to anything ;)

bag marla said...

Yeah, I'm also pretty shocked that this one is new to you. Clearly you live under a rock. In a hole. Far away from any other human being. In space.

Not So French Girl said...

You can blog again, we'll be nice, we promise :)

Kilometres said...

I'm afraid to mention that I hadn't heard of it.

But then I do live under a rock. In a hole. Far away from other human beings. In space.

You know I think it'd be great to have a photo essay on muffin tops. I consider it my goal for the summer. I wonder if strangers would mind so much if I photographed them to point out to the world at large that they had a muffin top? Thoughts?

bag marla said...

i think we would need to do some stealth photography on that one.