Tuesday, November 08, 2005

GWAR!

Now hopefully I won't run into any more people who haven't seen Empire Records (maybe the best movie in the world...) so that you can all have an idea of who GWAR is. If not, well that's what google exists for.

So GWAR was at the Odeon yesterday. I worked. Now, before I went to work I knew there was going to be some insanity. We'd been warned to wear clothes we could get wrecked cause of the fake blood spraying. I knew they were planning on "plastic wrapping" the Odeon. I'd "seen" them on Empire Records. You'd think I'd have been prepared, this of course was not the case. Thinking I was prepared probably made me even less prepared.

So I get to work. While I knew the place was to be plastic wrapped, for some reason my mind obviously was rejecting that as reality. Boy was I surprised when if really was plastic wrapped. The Odeon is 3 stories tall. The plastic went all the way to the top. The dance area was completely covered in carpet and mats. There really was no exposed space in the whole front area. I started to get a little worried at what I'd gotten myself into.

Happily, I was scheduled to work the landing bar. This was a really good thing in my opinion - not for it's money making possibilities - but for it's distance from the insanity. It would be very difficult to spray me with anything if I was at the landing bar.

Doors open. It would appear if you go to a GWAR show, it is mandatory that you wear a black t-shirt declaring your love for GWAR or another suitable heavy metal band. If you could not afford a real band shirt, it was acceptable to make one. In visiting with the patrons, it was obvious everyone was excited. Think of how excited a 14yr old girl would be if you told her she could meet Justin Timberlake or Hillary Duff. This is the excitement of GWAR fans. They were basically vibrating from excitement. If you could bottle that excitement, we could have powered Saskatoon for a year. Take that SaskPower!

GWAR finally makes the stage. Whoa. They are gianormous. I wasn't actually expecting them to be wearing their costumes for some reason. I really wasn't expecting their costumes to make them 8' tall. Here's where the bad part of working at the landing bar comes in - I couldn't see anything. Not that I had a lot of customers by this point, so I kept sneaking out to see what was going on. So yes, GWAR is this crazypsycho costumed group. Something like pokemon warriors meets transformers meets the devil meets steroids meets g-strings (oh yes, their costumed selves wear g-strings). I have no idea how they don't pass in those things or how they play music. So if this wasn't enough, GWAR is really crazy musical theater. Their sets have a story line - they play songs and then make fun of and kill public figures. The first victim was President Bush. They eviscerated him on stage. At least that cleared up my curiousity as to why they spray blood all over the crowd. I got to see the bit where his intestines were being pulled out along with the rest of his organs. They also killed in various ways Sharon Osborne, Michael Jackson and one other person. At some point in time green goo was involved.

Their fans loved it! I'd never seen so many people happy to have ruined their clothes. Some of them were more than happy, they were proud! It's some kind of status symbol to be able to get the most guck on you. Clearly this states your dedication to GWAR and killing stupid people (that part I kind of understand...). Besides, the fact that these people managed to dye black red is pretty amazing all in itself. Just think of how wet you have to get to dye black. Oh ya, that was 500 people last night at the Odeon. Then imagine me trying to walk between these people at the end of the night without touching anyone for fear the love of GWAR is contagious or something. If I was Marla there is no doubt I would have slipped on the goo and made a spectacular fall into a group of dripping, vibrating fans. It was pretty entertaining.

4 comments:

bag marla said...

you mean you didn't fall? way to not be fun, chelle.

was my bro-home there? i'm guessing he would have enjoyed gwar. maybe he can catch them next time...

Kelly (Bro-home) said...

This is the Bro-home checking in... I was intrigued by the "cat makes chicken noise" name and even more intrigued when I saw you wrote about GWAR.

I actually missed this GWAR show, but I've seen them twice in the past 12 months already, and have a few ruined black shirts to show for it. The various fluids also manage to dye shocks, shoes, and boxers a lovely pink color... with some green and blue mixed to create a wonderful rainbow of ruined clothing.

You will probably never see anything like that again. I hope you had a little fun watching it. Was there a lot of carnage to The Odeon?

bag marla said...

Do I know my bro-home or do I know my bro-home? I love it!!

hi bro-home!! *waves*

chelle said...

here's to bro home and his love of gwar! not to mention here's to people reading my blog, whoot!